I realize that everyone does not have the same religious beliefs that I do, however, I am a Christian, and my faith is what carried me through this amazing experience. Trusting that God had a plan and knowing that He controls life and conception, was the glue that held this mama together. Left on my own, I am a worrier.
If we knew what the future held, we would most likely want to change it. But, if we did, we would miss out on the most amazing blessings. My husband, Brett, and I still sit and wonder sometimes, "Did this really happen to us?"
The summer that I was pregnant with John there was a 7-week, special series on ABC covering the incredible miracles happening at Arkansas Children's Hospital. Family and friends from several states called and asked, "Is that where you are going to have the baby? That place is amazing!" It was reassurance that our plan to deliver in Little Rock and have John cared for at ACH was the best option.
We continued praying, and God continued to answer very specific prayers in positive ways. I kept telling myself, "God has a plan. All I have to do is cooperate." We went to so many visits in Little Rock, and did every test known to man, that I lost count. John's condition was so bad at one of the visits, the doctor gave us 0% chance of survival. The sack of fluid was weakening his heart and causing it to fail. He also told us that we “could lose John at any time, to deliver in Rogers, and be close to family and friends." That was a hard day, but God continued to reassure me.
I told God, "You gave me this big mouth. You won't waste a miracle on me. I will tell everyone I know what You did for me." I joke now and say that if anyone stands still long enough in Wal Mart, they might just hear it.
“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up.”
All of my life, I have grown up in church, and had heard of this passage, but never really thought much of it. It actually sounded kind of "holy rolly” to me, but after exhausting all medical options, we were willing to try anything. After the 3rd person mentioned the same verses in a short period of time, I went to Brett and said, "Do you think we ought to read that?" Of course, Brett agreed, and it was right there in black and white in the Bible. After reading the verses together, we did exactly as it said. He called the elders of our church that night, and they came over the next night. This was something that they had never done before either. It is called the Prayer of Faith.
During one visit, it was recommended that we have an amniocentesis. We refused, until John was of a viable age and had a chance to survive on his own, in case the amnio sent me into labor. The doctors were certain after all of the negative test results that this could oly be caused by chromosomes. So, we prayed that it would not be chromosomes. At 35 weeks, we agreed to the amnio, and his chromosomes were perfectly normal.
I also pray in the shower, the only place a mom can find a little peace. After all of God's reassurance, I still had the thought cross my mind during a prayer, "I know Lord, but what if..." I barely got that much of my thought out, and I felt the most overwhelming feeling of being scolded, that I even ducked and covered my head. I know that sounds crazy, but, the next thoughts flowing through my head were, "You've got a baby's room to paint, bedding to sew, and this boy is coming, so you better get ready!!!"
There are many more details, many more tests, and many more prayers, but I'll jump to the delivery. John was born at UAMS hospital in Little Rock by C-Section. I got to see him for about 30 seconds, then he was rushed to Children's Hospital, which is only 3 minutes away. His heart was still so weak that he could not pump the blood to inflate his lungs. He was placed on total life support.
It was quite a surreal site to see your child hooked up to so many tubes and machines, but the staff at Children’s gave us such comfort. God provided this hospital, and He created the loving and talented people that work there. Words cannot express my gratitude to the staff at Children’s hospital. The hospital itself is an awesome building, but the people that work there are angels on earth. While staying at the Ronald McDonald house, which is within walking distance of the hospital, I heard every helicopter that landed with another child in need of emergency care. It broke my heart to know that another set of parents were facing the possibility of losing their child, but in the same moment, it warmed my heart to know that their child was in the best possible place in the world!
The peace I had throughout the pregnancy, and while he was in the hospital, passes all understanding. Our doctors at Children’s Hospital informed us that John had holes in his heart, enlarged chambers, calcification in his adrenal glands, over a pound of extra fluid on his tiny body, and the list goes on; but their care and expertise was demonstrated daily by their strategic plan to wean John off the machines and oxygen and into our arms. They were like God’s hands to me. John improved each day under their amazing medical care and monitoring, and was released 29 days later on our 8th wedding anniversary. God gives good gifts.